Keeping a Secret
by ninalanfer
Summary: Saren/Nihlus. That keeping a secret would become a burden was a foreign concept to Nihlus, until now. Drabble. Standalone set in my "Nihlus the Survivalist" universe (part 05). Complete.


**Summary:** Saren/Nihlus. That keeping a secret would become a burden was a foreign concept to Nihlus, until now. Drabble. Standalone set in my "Nihlus the Survivalist" universe (part 05). Complete.

.-oOo-.

That keeping a secret would become a burden was a foreign concept to Nihlus. He lived in secrets, his job was defined by them. A Spectre's work was so classified he didn't even know what his co-workers were up to.

Yet he had a hard time containing himself when he saw the way Saren's arm brushed oh so innocently against the Lieutenant Colonel's. How the man would lean in and whisper something in his ear, lingering way longer than what was polite. It made Nihlus' chest clench uncomfortably. He wanted to go over there and hit the stupidly grinning officer in the face. Only problem was that he wouldn't be able to give Saren a valid reason for doing so. Not anything he wanted to hear anyway, and okay, maybe that wasn't the only problem...

The young turian heaved the rest of his drink, grabbed a familiar looking bottle off the table with free liquor and headed for the exit. He couldn't stay here, or he'd do something he would regret. The doors closed on the official looking gathering behind him and fresh, recycled air greeted him heavenly outside on the Presidium streets. Walking aimlessly, bottle in hand, for a while, he steered his feet away from the docks and the ship he currently shared with his old friend.

He knew Saren would bring his male companion back with him, it was his pattern. Every time they happened to have a few days off he would invite one of his lovers over for a night of fun. Usually it wasn't a problem. Nihlus had his own ship, his own home, but it was in dry dock on service at the moment and he didn't feel like living in a work zone, engineers running around all hours of the day and night. His old mentor had offered him his old cot back in the room he had lived in while he was still under his apprenticeship. Nihlus hadn't though twice about it.

It wasn't that he was jealous, right? He tilted the bottle further up to drown that particular thought. He had known the rules going into this. Saren didn't do 'the boyfriend thing' as he liked to put it. He'd only taken his former apprentice into his bed on the condition that he knew; they were lovers, not partners. Nihlus had agreed, preferred it even. He had his own different beds at his different docks. He lived a life on the verge of death every day, he couldn't afford a solid attachment to anyone.

And still...

Despite his better judgment the young Spectre did end up at the dock later that night. He was drunk, maybe he could blame that, when he made his way onto the ship. He would just go straight to bed, as tired as he was he would pass out within seconds. No damage done.

Instead he was met with the sight of Saren in the lounge. The pale turian looked up from whatever he was doing when Nihlus stumbled into the low coffee table. He held his breath, waiting for the barrage of accusations to come, the man hated when he got drunk. But instead for the harsh talking to he was expecting Saren said:

"I thought you'd go home with some of your... other... friends tonight."

Nihlus had to steady his eyes on the white shape in front of him. The man usually didn't hesitate from calling his regular one night stands names. He didn't know how many times he had heard the rant about that he needed to be more careful with who he went home with. Saren might not be a stable partner for anyone, but he screened his potential bed mates thoroughly before going through with the act. Speaking of...

"'fraid I'mma disturb you and mr-officer-sir?" Was he slurring? He was slurring, damn it.

He only got a snort in response to that.

"I didn't bring anyone home with me," Saren said.

Had he always been standing this close? When had they moved? Had they moved? He could feel Saren's warm breath on his cheek and see the wicked glint in his eyes. Did the old man smell like alcohol? Or was that just his own breath?

His mind blanked out all the questions when pale lips found dark brown ones.

Fire, fire and burning furnaces, roaring volcanoes and forest fires. It didn't take long before the heat in Nihlus belly could compete with that. They were backing away towards Saren's room at the same time talons tore into clothes and breaths where drawn violently between fierce kisses. Tongue and teeth and he wanted skin, give him more of that delicious pale skin now!

They ended up stumbling and falling down on the floor a meter from the bed, but Saren didn't stop. He pulled Nihlus pants down at the same time his strong hands roamed all the right spots, pinched and kneaded and stroked until the turian beneath him was a moaning mess. He fucked him right there on the floor, most of the clothes still on both of them. He made his partner cry out in pleasure, his dick trapped between a pale hand and stomach as he was rammed over and over, teeth nipping up and down his neck. Saren worked his jaws together and ground out a held in growl as he finished inside him.

Pulling out he laid down beside him, both of them panting and riding out the afterglow of their high. Nihlus mind was already running in one hundred and fifty before his heart had even had a chance to calm down to normal, trying to think up some reason to hold Saren there, on the floor next to him. But the older man got up, just as he knew he would, turned his back and murmured:

"I'll take a shower." _Don't be here when I get back,_ was what his tone were telling.

Nihlus held in the sharp keen the pain in his chest forced on by the words. He knew they were coming, and yet... Gathering himself and his clothes he made his way over to his own room, closing the door shut behind him and sinking down with the back against it, his knees high under his chin. He gripped his fringe with both hands and forced himself to take calm, long breaths.

Maybe a secret was only a burden when you wanted to tell it. But he would never be able to tell Saren he loved him.


End file.
